The Forgiveness Myth
Like so many other people, I have spent a long time working on forgiveness. On doing what I could to release the pain I felt was a direct result of interactions with people close to me throughout my life. Forgiveness of family members that damaged me from childhood, friends who let me down, or ex’s who broke my trust. For many years I tried to analyze and overcome the emotional scars I carried from these situations, and while I definitely found ways to move forward, complete resolution somehow remained elusive.
It’s interesting, in retrospect, that we expect to heal ourselves yet we spend so much time and energy focused on what others have done. At the root, it all comes down to forgiveness of self, doesn’t it? You don’t have the capacity to give away what you don’t already own.
I had been asking the universe for help with this for so long, I don’t know why I was so surprised when I actually received it. The message came through in such a clear and simple way, in a moving meditation, during a yoga class. It was so powerful that in nearly knocked me over in mid triangle pose. I felt like someone had whispered directly into my awareness, without the actual sound. I spent the entire Shavasana rolling it around in my mind and letting it seep into both my soul and my body.
I hurried out at the end of class, afraid that it would slip away before I could commit it to paper and grabbed my little notebook and a pen as quickly as I could when I got home. I needn’t have worried, although no more tangible then ether, it had taken root within me and was currently vibrating through my entire consciousness in the most soothing way.
This is what I understood:
“Forgiveness is an illusion. What comes next is a step beyond forgiveness.
In great universal Love, forgiveness is unnecessary, because it is understood that everything is done for a purpose, a choice to have an experience, or a lesson.
All is understood and “forgiveness” always granted.
Permission is not needed, as we can think and experience what we would like with an open heart.
Without fear, without limitation. It is all okay.
Love and forgiveness are one in the same.
What we call hate is merely misdirected anger at self.
The inability to accept ownership for one’s own actions or ownership of our own situation.
Instead we lash out at others to lay blame.
At this level we are not connected to our inner light, our true selves.
The connection is of course always available, but at these times we can not see it.
We feel lost and as a result we lash out.”
That was it. Simple and powerful. I try to keep this present as much as I can and my focus is now on reprograming my thought process from blame, after years of self conditioning, to one of awareness and understanding.
I would love to say that I am always vibrating in this space, but sometimes I still forget. So I keep my little notebook handy (the one with the Eiffel Tower on the cover that makes me smile and dream of Paris) and I flip to that page.
And I am flooded with Love and gratitude all over again.